just thoughts

I couldn't think of a title for this entry because its just some thoughts. I was talking to Dave last night on the phone and he worries about me and my sanity. I have to agree and disagree with him. He worries because I have been letting the littlest things bother me. He knows that this is not my "normal" behavior. So what if the laundry is piled high on my bed, so what if the boys didn't eat every single piece of food on their plate, so what if the noise level is a little high? Well I guess these are all problems here at my parent house, and I'm stuck in the middle. I'm trying to keep my calm and relaxed parenting methods, while obeying the rules of the house that I grew up with, and truth be told I'm going a little crazy. I keep looking towards the future of when we will be leaving and back to our own routine that I am ignoring all the moments that are happening now. I need to figure out a way to get back into the moment and not let the small things bother me so much, but my question is how? How do I make my mom understand that I really don't care if the babies stayed in their pajamas all day if we had no plans to go anywhere. How do I get my dad to understand that the boys ate most of their food, and that's better then not eating at all. How do I get the boys to accept that my answer is no and stop pestering me? I was reading Carrie's blog and she basically wrote how looking around her house she saw signs of her children everywhere. Shoes all over the floor, books and homework spread around. The thing is she didn't see a mess, she saw a family and a home. When I look at the same thing here in my house I see a mess, and that brings me to tears. I want to see my family, my house. Most people wish time would slow down and I want it to go faster. I know it will come. I know time will slow down and for now I must have patience and enjoy the time I have left here with my parents, but how?